Anxious Dave 10:41 Thu Dec 17
Anyone dated a French bird?
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Dilemma. This is (was) going well, she's a bit of a stunner even at 36, dresses beautifully, very pretty, way too good for yours truly. Fourth date last night, back to my gaff, undressed her, and...UGGGHHHH...hairy armpits. Also unkempt downstairs, unruly sprouting all over the show.
Obviously played it cool and finished the job - after initially recoiling - but now wondering how to ask her to have a fucking shave. I thought this was a bit of a MYTH about French birds but it's not.
She's texted me this morning, had a great night etc. Advice on how to respond to remedy this unpleasantness please?
And, yes, I wiped my knob on her
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
VirginiaHam
4:23 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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*Extravagance*
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VirginiaHam
4:22 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Nutsin 1:39 Sat Aug 26
If you swamp a hairy shitter with enough lubricant you can actually part the extravance and plaster them to her cheeks, thus exposing a very ready balloon knot.
Not that I've done that.
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collyrob
3:41 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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plankton 11:41 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
That man loved a BALLOON KNOT
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Far Cough
12:18 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Bullet 12:18 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
ag ag ag ag
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Tomshardware
12:03 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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😆 whatever happened to him?
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plankton
11:41 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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You're not CHICKEN RUN MANIAC in disguise, are you, Nustin?
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Nutsin
1:39 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Easy solution anxious, roll her over and do her in the shitter.
Now if she has a hairy asshole I don’t know what to tell you mate. You might have to do a runner and don’t tell anyone.
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Hammer and Pickle
12:35 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Well written piece that but haven't you heard of a thing called a shower?
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Bullet
12:18 Sat Aug 26
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Nothing to do with French but lots of hair yes. Was on holiday with mates playa de americas tenerife. One mate a builder was chatting up two Dutch birds at the bar and I went over to pull the one spare. As I approached from behind and the side and lent over the bar to get the attention next to this Dutch bird I smelt a pungent smell off stagnant body odour emanating from her visibly hairy armpits with elbows lent on the bar as she was wearing a sleeveless top due to the intense heat in July in Canaries. Her armpits looked like birds nests as if not trimmed for years and stank of stale body odour as if not washed for many days if not weeks. She felt my presence turned and smiled but I got another whiff of her pungent aroma turned and fucked off sharpish. Gawd knows how her growler stank but Billingsgate would be like Chanel No.5 compared to this bint.
My mate was oblivious although other mates confirmed both these birds stank to high heaven and my builder mate was the only one who wanted to know. Next morning he tells us how his evening went. First I need to explain some context. My builder mate John is probably the dirtiest bastard I know. He would tell me he would go through ladies drawers and sniff their underwear when doing building jobs around people's houses lol. Needless to say John never did any jobs around my house apart from bricking a wall outside. He also told me he liked going down on his bird when she was on the blob. Enough said.
Righto where was we yep he said he took this Dutch bird back and snagged her ragged. I asked John if she had a really hairy old growler and he said yes, I said it must of stank and told him they stank when i came upto the bar and he laughed said I would wondered why you funked off. Then said yeah she stank down there, when I turned her over and was doing her doggy she had skid marks on her arse! I kid you not, then he proudly proclaimed like a good champ, " It didn't stop me going down on her though"!
The whole experience left me damaged, can't go anywhere near a hairy growler since.
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Claret Badger
5:30 Fri Aug 25
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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minges shaped like crosissant
FACT
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joe royal
7:10 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Talking of hairy ladies SFW
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid08p6vwWGv2cGLXj6n7ib7LT6WV6QcwVi63LhrWuPMaYRLKKDz9Go5fivDECwCkbkil&id=100076518774127
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El Scorchio
6:54 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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If it really bothers you, you probably don;t like her enough. If you like her enough, it wouldn't bother you.
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Hammer and Pickle
5:59 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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What a weird thing to get uptight about.
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collyrob
5:31 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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zebthecat 10:48 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
It’s weirder that you think of pre-pubescent girls, when you see a waxed fanny.
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Far Cough
5:27 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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kylay, for me the sexiexst accent on a bird is the Welsh accent, makes me go all gooey
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Far Cough
5:26 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Yes, a bird from Guadeloupe
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kylay
4:59 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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Haven't dated one but always wanted to. Has to be the sexiest accent the world over.
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Blunders
1:14 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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This proliferation of the hairy pit and legs needs to end.
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Tomshardware
1:14 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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want.that.one 6:13 Wed Aug 23
The denser the jungle the higher the humidity.
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Dick Shaftsbury
12:58 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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twoleftfeet 8:44 Wed Aug 23
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
I once dated a lady who had a fanny like a baboons arm pit, I told a couple of mates about it and from then on it was known as my bushtucker trial.
LOL
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zebthecat
10:48 Thu Aug 24
Re: Anyone dated a French bird?
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I don't get the predeliction for women resembling pre-pubescent girls.
It is creepy.
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